sarahhumphreys.com

you can hear my music @ sarahhumphreys.com
you can stay in touch by liking my facebook page
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Friday 2 December 2011

So many hats, hats falling off.

I've felt inspired to join this blogging community for a long time now. I write a little blog on my music page but i've decided to come over here too. You all seem warm and inviting, creative and loving. Forgive me if i'm a little shy at first, it doesn't take long before i open up a bit.

But before i go on with my blog post i will introduce myself...

My name is Sarah, Sarah Humphreys. I make music and two years ago i created my masterpiece, his name is Jude. I loved him the minute i looked into his eyes. I remember being amazed that when he heard my voice, he stopped crying. I have never felt such immense awe in my whole life. I found it hard to get back into gigging and writing and i was hard on myself. I did my first gig when he was three weeks old and wondered why i was such a failure? Why couldn't i cope with being a mother and musician? I now think back to those days and want to give myself a big warm hug and say 'get off the freekin stage and leave yourself alone!' But i can't. I can only smile, sigh and know that when i finally did realise i just needed to learn how to be a Mother for a while. For as long as it took, even if that was forever. And that if there's no band room and you're a breastfeeding mother, don't say yes to the gig.

Peace came with slowing down. I wasn't sure if i'd ever do 'the music thing' again. Well other than the odd gig here and there.  Write songs, show my family, have family jams. And then slowly but surely it came back...I started writing and people wanted to hear what i'd written. I started giving away my non maternity clothes that i'd been wearing for what felt like EIGHT YEARS and pulled out some vintage dresses (and bought a few more late night shopping on ebay.) My marriage ended amicably and my ex-husband and i went back to being what we've suspected we've always been best as - friends. Jude weaned himself at sixteen months with a simple shake of the head, he never went back on. I was equal parts heartbroken and relieved, a chapter of his babyhood was over and i was proud of the commitment i had made to breastfeeding which wasn't always easy/natural/painless. I look back on that time with such fondness. A sweet little bub asleep on the boob, and those night feeds/cuddles. Sigh. Anyway what was i saying? Music! Yes. People wanted to hear my voice again, and my voice was there waiting patiently for me. I signed a record deal with ABC and made a new EP with an album coming out next year. People remembered me. I grew as a writer and as a person. I was broken in half from motherhood and when i put myself back together, i was remade into who i am now. A lady i'm quite proud of. Just when i thought it was all over...

Right now i am going through a time in my life of complete and utter busy-ness. I don't cope all that well with wearing many hats, usually i just wear the one and dedicate my life to wearing it well. My multi-tasking abilities are similar to that of a man and not the sharpest man in the shed. I also have complete and utter tunnel vision when it comes to something i care about. Some days i cope, other days i feel drained, tired and a bit underwhelmed with myself.

I think in two years time i will want to put my arm around who i am today and say 'You're doing a great job. And it's all going to be okay. Promise.'

Yes.

Love & stuff x Sare

9 comments:

  1. Hello Sarah,
    what a lovely introduction you have written. I'm not sure what kind of followers you are looking for, but i'm happy to be your first one! through mine, you may make some other new friends. best wishes to you, Jane x

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  2. Humpie!!!! I'm flippin thrilled to find you here, you glorious creature. Your post gave me goose bumps.

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

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  3. Hi Sarah,
    Welcome to the blog world! I love this post and am looking forward to reading more :)

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  4. Replies
    1. Yes it's meeee! Wanted to join you beautiful ladies.

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  5. Hi guys! Thank you for the warm welcome. There's nothing more i love to do after a long day of parenting and music-ing than sit down and read through my list of beautiful beautiful blogs by inspiring men and (mostly) women ;)

    xxxx

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  6. When I was pregnant a wise friend said the best thing I could do to make life easier for myself was to embrace the change. I now know what she meant! Motherhood changes us, no matter how much we long for our old selves. I've just listened to your songs on your website, your voice is amazing. Jesus etc is one of my ALL TIME favourite songs. Kellie xx

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    Replies
    1. Oh Kellie, thank you. I love Wilco so much. Have you heard their albums with Billy Bragg singing Woody Guthrie lyrics? They are called 'Mermaid Ave Volumes 1 & 2' if you haven't. They are up there with my favourite records of all time. And Jude adores them too, ever since birth!

      So happy you had a listen.

      x

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  7. Hello. I'm a bit slow to catch on - that'll teach me to go from editing a community rag's entertainment supplement to heading up the digital division for the entire group... in Parramatta - but oi, welcome to the bloggy party, so lovely to have you here. Wanna glass of fruit punch?

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