I hear a lot of complaining around the place. It's everywhere around me and it's in me too. Honesty is beautiful but sometimes you really can get in your own way.
I often get the working mama balancing act wrong but you know, I often get it right too. There have been times where it would have been easier to not have Jude with me at a show but it wouldn't have been as much fun. I love that he sees, hears and understands what I do. There are other times I've pushed him too far and he would have been happier at his dad's house watching movies and snuggling or being doted on by his beloved Nanna.
The truth is, it doesn't matter which way we go. He is loved, he is love. I am loved, I am love. We walk, love and learn all this stuff together. And then we forget and remember again and again. One day I will be an old lady, a master of my emotions and thoughts with a hundred records to her name. But the boy who made me a mother, who will one day be a man, if he knows he was, is and will always be loved then that will make my heart smile most of all.
Never before and never again will I know such a love.
Be great. Be good. Be mediocre. Be fearless. Be cautious. Be kind. Be firm. Be sure. Guess. Be funny. Be honest. Be gentle. Smile. Walk. Hold. Eat. Drink. Sleep. Love. Love. Love. Do what you love and be love while you're doing it. Be Sarah. In tiredness, in confusion, in fear and in frustration - let me remember my everlasting love. My unending loveliness. My Sarah-ness.